What are Emotions, Really?

Happiness feels good. It's why many of my patients will share in an intake session that they just want to feel happy, or that they no longer want to feel sad or anxious. However, even though some emotions are more difficult to experience than others, all emotions are important, as they help us better understand and navigate our world (Barlow et al., 2017). While many people would like to get rid of emotions like anger or shame, these emotions communicate important information to our brain.

For instance, we experience the fight-or-flight reaction in high stake situations or when we may be in danger. Anxiety communicates to our brain that we need to prepare or get out of harm’s way. Our pupils may dilate, our breathing may hasten and we may feel sweaty to prepare ourselves to react or flee a particular situation.

When we feel sad, it is likely because we have lost something or someone. Feeling sad allows us to process the loss in a helpful way, as this person or thing was likely important to us. Another emotion, like anger, may be our body and mind's way of processing that we have been wronged in some way, while shame/guilt may come up when we feel as though we have fallen short of some standard (whether our own, or society's).

In addition to understanding the function of particular emotions, let's break down what emotions are even further. Emotions can be broken into three component parts:

• Thoughts

• Physical sensations

• Behaviors

Understanding how we can best manage our emotions entails bringing each of these components into awareness. Before we can move into problem solving, we have to know how our emotions are manifesting and what are our typical patterns of behavior.

Much of what I will discuss in this blog are ways you can learn to cope with intense emotions, rather than spending so much time fighting with them or trying to push them away. Your emotions, no matter how big or small, are valid. As discussed, the more difficult emotions are often adaptive responses to particular situations. We need these emotions to process and respond accordingly. Therefore, rather than setting the goal of trying to eliminate negative emotions, what if instead you could learn new ways to lean into your anxiety/sadness and understand where it is coming from? 

Now, outside of experiencing a range of emotions as we all do, emotional disorders can arise when emotions are distressing or significantly interfering in one’s life. Individuals experiencing emotional disorders may experience frequent, strong emotions, feel upset or judge themselves for experiencing such strong emotions, and try hard to suppress their emotions, because they feel  uncomfortable (Barlow et al., 2017). Specific evidence-based treatments for emotional disorders will be discussed in future blog posts.

I challenge you to take the time to become curious with your emotions. I know it's uncomfortable, however it's an important first step! Becoming self-compassionate and curious can allow you to better manage difficult emotions when they reach higher levels. So the next time you feel a difficult emotion like anxiety or sadness, try to notice what you feel in your body, what thoughts pop up for you and anything you may be doing or avoiding in that moment.

Come back soon to check out future posts (or subscribe here). You can also follow me on X for more up-to-date information.

Reference

Barlow, D.H., Farchione, T.J., Sauer-Zavala, S., Murray Latin, H., Ellard, K.K., Bullis, J.R., Bentley, K.H., Boettcher, H.T. and Cassiello-Robbins, C. (2017). Unified Protocol or Transdiagnostic Treatment of Emotional Disorders, Oxford University Press.