Practicing Worry Time

What even are Worries?

Worry is something we all are familiar with. But what are worries, exactly? Worries are strings of thoughts and images that carry a sense of negative emotion. They are relatively uncontrollable, and usually focus on some sort of potential future threat or fear. When we spend time worrying, this is a behavior that we either actively or unknowingly engage in. Similar to the discussion in my last blog post, some level of worry makes sense and can be productive or helpful. However, when our worries get loud or interfere with our day to day, this can become a problem.

Worry Time

Worry time is essentially a mindfulness skill that can be helpful for managing worried thoughts. The premise behind worry time is that anxiety flags worries as important. We have probably all had the experience of trying to focus- whether at work or in a conversation with a friend- and a worried thought pops into our minds. If we engage with the thought, it pulls us away from what we are doing, making it difficult to focus or stay present. The problem, however, is that we can't exactly ignore or push away worried thoughts either. We can try, but they will likely keep coming back to us. Our brain does not want us to forget something it flags as important or scary. In fact, trying to suppress our emotions isn't usually effective either, and can backfire and make these emotions stronger.

Acknowledging and Noting Thoughts

So, what can we do instead when worries come up? One strategy is to acknowledge the worried thoughts and note them. This can include finding a journal to write them down in or a note on your phone where you can list them out. By doing so, we are not trying to ignore the thoughts, rather we are acknowledging them and saying "not now." Then, we can compassionately reorient ourselves back to the present moment. This practice will allow us to get the thoughts down on paper and also to stay focused on a task, rather then getting pulled away by our thoughts. This will likely continue to happen throughout the day, and you will get in the practice of continuously noting worries as they arise.

Practicing Worry Time

The next part of worry time involves choosing a time each day to engage in "worry time" and set a timer for the length of time that feels good to you (I usually recommend 30 minutes). You may have a short or long list of worries written down at the end of each day. It is important to choose a consistent time, such as at 6pm, each day to sit down with your list of worries and intentionally worry about them. I don't typically recommend doing this right before bed, as this may keep you up longer than you would like. Ideally, choose a location that is comfortable and free from distractions.

 Now, let me explain what happens when we put this into practice, as the goal is not to increase anxiety. There are three things we find that will happen while engaging in worry time:

1) Some of the things you were worried about earlier that day, may no longer bother you. This is because our brain wander and tend to worry, and often the worries are not valid and go away on their own. Think about the time you saved not giving that thought power in the moment!

2) Some of your worries can be problem solved! And, they can likely be more effectively problem solved when you now have time, rather than when you were in the middle of a meeting or at lunch with a friend.

3) And still, some of your worries may still bother you. And, these are likely future-oriented worries we cannot actually do must about. So, this exercise serves as an exposure (I will write a future blog post describing exposure therapy further, but feel free to check out my blog post on the Nuts & Bolts of Evidence-Based Treatment for a brief description). What I mean by this is that you will likely feel anxious when you think about your worry. And, we can also train ourselves to learn that we can both feel anxiety, and recognize that there may be nothing that can be done about that particular worry. 

So, with these worries, I recommend closing your eyes and thinking about the worry. You will likely notice anxiety, but after some time you may notice anxiety go up and then go down. This is because we are getting more comfortable with the discomfort. And, you may even surprise yourself and get bored thinking about the worry for so long! This may not sound possible, but in fact intentionally thinking about our worries can feel different from a worry popping up in more of an intrusive way.

Through practicing worry time, you are essentially increasing your sense of control- worrying when YOU want to worry, rather than when anxiety wants you to worry.  If we worry later about a topic, rather than right when it first pops into our mind, we give ourselves space for either the thought to resolve itself, to get through a crisis without making it worse, or to move through the discomfort that surrounds the worry. You may also notice the same worry popping up again and again on your list. And by practicing worry time, you only had to give it attention once, instead of multiple times throughout the day! It is important to note that worry time is not easy, and takes time and practice. That is why I recommend developing a practice and trying to stick with it. 

What are your experiences with worry time? Feel free to send me your thoughts!