Fostering Self-Compassion

Intro to Self-Compassion

We all know what it means to show compassion for someone else. Yet the concept of "self-compassion" can feel like a foreign concept to many of us. Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with kindness and understanding. We can think of it as how you would treat a friend if they were going through a difficult time. Many of us are harder on ourselves than we would be to a friend. Perhaps we think that beating ourselves up will be more motivating then treating ourselves kindly. However, it turns out this is actually not the case. 

Self-compassion is not the same as self-pity, or simply giving yourself a "pass". Rather, it is a way we can acknowledge that we all experience pain as part of the human condition. By validating our experience, we can in turn help reduce our suffering. In fact, research shows that self-compassion can result in stronger coping and resiliency. It helps improve both our physical and mental wellbeing and motivates us to reach the goals we set for ourselves.

There are many ways we can practice self-compassion. One way is through participating in a meditation called a Self-Compassion Break, created by Dr. Kristen Neff. Dr. Neff is a pioneer in self-compassion work, and below I have linked her website which includes examples of self-compassion exercises you practice on your own. 

One way to practice the Self-Compassion Break is by engaging in a guided meditation. Here is an example on Youtube to try.

There are also a number of phrases you can choose to repeat to yourself during a moment of suffering:

May I be kind to myself

May I accept myself as I am

May I be safe

May I forgive myself

May I be happy and free from suffering

May I safely endure this pain

May I find peace in my heart

May I be strong

May I protect myself

May I learn to live with ease and wellbeing

May I accept the circumstances of my life

May we learn to live together in peace 

Additional practices can be found on Dr. Neff's website. Practices include writing a letter to yourself as you would to a friend, using supportive touch and journaling.

How can you begin to incorporate self-compassion into your daily routine?